Reboot...and not the cartoon

What shall I say? Should I apologize for not having written in the last year?  Probably, but mostly because I was not writing what I should have been writing.

Earlier this year I was reading a blog by Annie Downs (if you don't know her or her message please, please, please go here http://www.anniefdowns.com and look her up!) the point of her blog post was that it shouldn't just be the wonderful stay at home moms writing blogs about their lives and stories, but that single women should be talking about their lives and how they deal with the day-to-day and their God stories.

As a single woman in my 30's (I am 31) I never imagined as a child or teen that I wouldn't be married by now; I never dreamed that I wouldn't have even gone out on a date yet...yes I did just admit that.  My cousins used to tease me as a child that I would be married and have 4 kids before 30-because that is honestly who I wanted to be...minus the handle-bar mustashe on my husband.   Instead I am the working woman with no kids and they are all married with various amounts of children.   My story is very different than my past expectations.

But I want to share my story, because I think in some ways there may be another woman out there who may be encouraged by it or at least identify with it.  I also think that journaling this way makes it easier for me to listen to God and what he may be wanting to show me, if I am open with a digital audience it may help me with consistency...I am awful at consistency.  I want to open the Bible, but my pillows are so comfortable in the morning...I want to read my Bible at night, but oh look I haven't seen that book in a while and oh look there is that TV show on now.  So really I am thinking about my flesh and its desires instead of looking to the one who can uplift and strengthen my heart and spirit.

I am taking a chance and being brave.

Lacking imagination

Yesterday I made a comment, one I have made before, but due to a book I am reading currently it bothered me.  I have always considered Amillennialists to be idealists, and in fact I believe I stated that it worried me. How can humans who are so imperfect ever bring about a change in society that would have Christ return to to a world that has despised him?  However that got me to thinking...what if it is our job? God can do amazing things, more than we can dream or ask (Eph. 3:20 &21). So many men and women in the Bible went from something negative or at least something humble to something the world would consider great.  Therefore have I been limiting God or has my view of God been limited?

I am a bit of a pessimist, I generally use the word "realist" but honestly that isn't radically different we both acknowledge that the glass is not full, it is just not empty.  But what if we could ignore the labels and dream a bigger dream? Instead of seeing myself as just a Librarian, I saw or recognized that God sees me as my possible future self? Joseph was a wrongfully convicted convict and became the second most powerful man in the country.  Moses' title changed dramatically throughout his lifetime.  Rahab was a prostitute and became a woman God deemed worthy of being a great-grandmother in the line of Kings and ultimately the King of Kings.

I sometimes miss the conviction I had about certain theological ideas while I was in college.  I wasn't really for or against dispensationalism or coventalism, but most other areas were pretty concrete. Now I have been out of undergrad for 8 years and the lines are getting blurry.  I want to love people because they are Christ's image bearers (Col. 1:15-29), I don't wan to label them. But in a world that is so "don't box me in" we certainly have more labels than we ever have before. Bear with me as I try to work these things out through this blog and if you are around me in person.